Change of Heart

Possibly more like change of venue as well as a change of heart. As I reveled with my some of my new friends here in the West, I thought about why I even need to return to the Midwest. Essentially, I have nothing there except my teaching which I will look into doing here. I believe I belong here and never belonged back in the Midwest. I will leave nothing there and have established much here in the short time that I have been here.

I drove my convertible sports car across the bridge into the city, now far more comfortable with dashing about. Since parking is almost nonexistent, I tend to drive the smallest car possible when I am in the city. I also like the extra power and handling on the streets some pretty narrow. I will admit that I like the attention that driving a Porsche brings too. It’s a West Coast thing for me as I enjoy a very high-end lifestyle here.

Back in the Midwest, I am completely invisible and largely of no consequence but out here, I stand out with last evening being no exception. I ended up meeting a couple of interesting theater people, one producing a current production, the other a local director/professor and writer, widening my circle of artistic individuals. I also ended up dancing in a couple of clubs with my dance class mates sipping a cocktail and loving the city nightlife, hardly recognizable as the old woman that I am. It must have been that red mini-dress working in my favor but I laughed a lot too.

It is no accident that those of us who are in academic circles find common ground. My professor friend and I tended to agree on several observations of college students in today’s world of increased scrutiny and mistrust of education. We are both most excited in situations where we have diversity and streams of ideas. He didn’t laugh at my quest to explore the creative arts and leaning more of the humanities as an educated person. I had much fun with rapid fire conversation and humor.

Before I ended the night, well the early morning hours when back in the Midwest, I would be getting up, putting on my running gear and running the streets, I decided that I probably won’t return to the Midwest. As I come to terms with loving those I have loved, I am at peace at last without shame or regret. He is truly worthy of being loved by me, a woman of substance, who is nice or so they say. Certainly, this is a change of heart as well as a change of venue for me; my mid-summer.


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