In the stark beauty of my locale, blue skies, blue oceans and bays as I drive my little German sports car along narrow curving roads that overlook the water. I love the response; the wind in my face with a breeze; perfect for a sail or a drive. The weather was warm, dry and invited me to swim. Towards evening’s end, I sipped a Sam Adams and watched a million stars in the sky. It’s just nice to be in the present; alone with my thoughts and laughing out loud at the memories of conversations, experiences and adventures yet to come.
My parish rector returned to work today; calling me in the early afternoon. I took some beer and crackers up to the office; we sat and solved the world’s problems with a brew in hand. He’s becoming a very wonderful friend who accepts my quirky questioning of scripture, belief and life in general. Heaven forbid, he laughs a my insecurities in performing my parish duties. He has filled a void left by my wonderful friend back in the Midwest. I accept the world much as I find it with hopes to change things I can. Hell, I change me all of the time; mutable.
He says that my optimism makes me appear much younger than my age; also admires my energy, fearlessness and sense of adventure. It’s great to have a wise, handsome and accomplished man admire something about me though I don’t know why he characterizes me as fearless. I believe I have many fears.
As I considered his descriptions of my “in your face” connection with him and others in my life, I guess I have discarded any guilt in how I connect. I am not afraid of the future because I have much to share. I am grateful for the man who means much in my life though he is far away physically, he’s present in my hopes and thoughts for happiness and continued greatness. I can’t say enough how grateful I am that he just breathes air and exists with stunning brilliance always. I will never have physical closeness but I will have memories of great experiences.
I don’t fear spending the rest of my life alone; actually relish and anticipate this. My work is great company. I make no apologies for adoring a wonder of a human being who gives much to this world. Something I heard today, “What lies ahead of you and behind you is nothing compared to what lies within you!” All in all, I make my way with happiness and just a bit of fun, much fun and memories of just shared coffee with my touchstone.