My Hands are Still Cold

The weather and sunrises are spectacular over the Lake on these early morning spring days. I am happy to see the sun, blue sky cloudless at last. The temperatures have been in the upper 40s but my hands need gloves. Even picking up my speed doesn’t warm my hands. I’m still a “freeze baby” these days as I lose weight, I can’t seem to keep heat. I can always add more clothing as I refuse to add pounds. I will barely make my weight by my upcoming race and that’s OK for me. It’s been a long battle in many ways.

I sit on my front step in the evenings to greet my neighbors and sip a Sam Adams for my reticence. My work perks along; my house getting under control. At the end of every semester, I tend to reorganize my sparsely furnished townhouse and office. I moved my two televisions to the second floor; not watching either one because I haven’t been in the mood for news or much else. I have been enjoying podcasts because my mind loves to fill in what I cannot see. I also take myself to the theatre as I love good films.

Yesterday, one of my church colleagues noticed that I have a tendency to “list” to the right when I walk. I was crucifer for one of the processions. Just another thing for me to keep in mind as I work to master my stage directions. I can only hope to be a presence as my touchstone is a great spirit I might learn stagecraft from. I also didn’t move on the first organ notes which was a bit of a problem. It was interesting to have people shouting “Go, Go” with music. I am learning; my mentors are patient with me.

Our Dean of the Cathedral turns out to be a very interesting intellect for me. I appreciate his fine opinion on things spiritual. He’s agreed to speak with me and counsel me as I move in the direction of becoming a Deacon. As I lost one mentor, I seem to pick up another with much to learn. I still question my suitability for this work but I press on. I am such a work in progress.

My Mum always said that “with cold hands come a warm heart”. Could it be that my heart grows warmer these days? I pray that this is true for me because I am delightfully happy with my challenges. Though I would love to belong with a kindred spirit, someone I could love with a passion, it’s not for my cold hands. I have very few that I give even a small piece of my heart for self-preservation. You know as Jesus said at his first communion, “You want a piece of me?”


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