Charging

Lone hilltop resting

Face wind across chest

Recharged in the city

My early dark morning runs are out in the solitude of nature; only me and the deer with an occasional raccoon disturbing the stillness. Alone with my meditations and prayers inside my head with an ear to my heart and legs as they move forward with each step. I watch the street for the occasional pothole or fallen branch sometimes littered with acorns or walnuts. The wind will rustle branches in the tops of trees, a fraction of a moon shrouded in thin clouds outlined in shades of indigo and dark grey. I love this time of day even with exhaustion of my previous day’s travels in an out of an Eastern city.

I attended my ex-mother-in-law’s funeral; a command performance because she was the only mother-in-law that I would ever have. I loved her son; the man she gave birth to. My life now solitary as my heart is incapable of loving another man ever. I accept that for me, there was one and no other will feel that total acceptance; my total gift of my mind in connection and grace.

I would love to adore a heroic man; savor his greatness and presence; feel and fuel his energy; share adventures with laughter and fun; ease in his brilliant presence and enjoyment of company, discovery and wit. In truth, enjoyment of just doing  anything with someone amazing.

So I took a couple of hours; recharged in the city from the point. I sat in the extreme heat and humidity while breathing in every molecule and wavelength of energy; sauced with the smell of jet fuel. As large jets flew over my head, I  could feel the vortices of their wash as they landed; coming in over the river and my head; warmth from their engines. High-pitched whirring sounds before reversing thrusters to a roar. I gained what they lost; gratitude for all that I have especially my survival.

My ex-sister-in-law provided plenty of negativity and criticism. Her comments rolled off because I have no investment in them.  I simply have others to care for now; so deeply I care and adore. My heart grateful for the wonder and thoughts of my  beacons of splendor and excellence. So much anticipation of just being in the presence of greatness and the sheer enjoyment of such in the moments that I have; unspoken communication. I am a very rich woman.

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