Renewal

Holy Week has been completed with much learning for me. I was somewhat overwhelmed by the pageantry, extreme spirituality and solemnness of the services from my point of participation. There is no dishonesty or “playing a part” but there is an order to how the services are done; what is expected or rather demanded. My heart gave freely and with joy at time albeit punctuated by gratitude. Simply, I can’t fake anything; my debts are paid honestly and with much interest. What is old, is new in a very exciting journey of continued exploration. I take up the journey with a willing heart and a very open mind.

I give myself in small pieces but never completely and to those of my extreme choosing; rare indeed. I know that is my character now. To those that I choose to give, I give with honesty and without definition. There is no definition for this voyage but always my willingness is the result of what I read without apology. My nature tells me to use all of my being; all that I have been given; my spirit strong at last. At my age, to give less would be betrayal-not in my nature ever. I know nothing of hate, dishonesty or game-playing.

From the sheer enjoyment of my running on this, a perfect day, my realization that I am finally on a path of survival with a sense of renewal. I enjoy every moment with discovery and a touch of amazement. Life has to be enjoyed with honesty and openness. I will stand strong, run strong and enjoy every step along with my renewal; powerful and surprisingly creative of transduction.

I sip this cold beer, simple enjoyment, under a tree while breathing in evening air. There are only moments of enjoyment. There is no bitterness but only the taste with a slight buzz from the small amount of alcohol. These days, I don’t tolerate much alcohol; have found a nice compromise. I have earned these feelings; mine alone with no expectations but much amazement for my racing mind.

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