March is finally here with its promise of Spring to follow but it’s Ash Wednesday for me and my church too. My mind ran back to last year’s Ash Wednesday when I was in the early parts of my training for an upcoming marathon, blinding white snow falling along with a fall on my part as I dashed into a meeting at one of my colleges. I was sore, cold but quite happy that day as I had discovered new connections; my mind soaring as it had not soared; my heart in an unfamiliar place.
This year, I am wiser, older with more experiences. As the year has passed, I continue to seek my soul, question my existence (strange for a woman of my age). I make no apologies for finding those greater than I could ever have imagined. No apologies need to be made on my part as I do stand before them; celebrating them, learning from them with my green eyes wide open.
I stand in the presence of some remarkable humans who demand the best from me without question. I stand in the presence of those who are sailing and flying into greatness. Over the past year, they make this life rich and oh, so wonderful/magical. I seize that wonder and savor it like my morning coffee these days; happily intoxicating like my bourbon.
March comes in for me with unsettled weather but with a strong warm wind that indicates change. As I dashed between the raindrops in the early morning, my heart and mind settles into great joy and compassion in a place of strength. Yes, I continue to change, refine and study with an intensity that is a bit unnerving for me. Yes, I continue to explore and define some aspects of my life but others need no definition, defy definition as they simply ARE without apology and deep in my heart.
This Lent, while giving me an opportunity for discernment, also gives me an opportunity to explore and advocate without fear. I know that I need to be “inside my head” a bit more, embrace and smile more with acceptance of all the is. This Lent allows me to pause in this journey with the knowledge that what I have in life is now, in this moment. There are no promises for the future but simply the energy of the present as I take in that energy with every breath with danger at the same time. Last year at this time, I could never have known this.