Perfection??

Wonderful 40F degree morning for a sweet run post-call. My mind was “all over the place” but napped most of the night and thus able to get out. My running coach put this old creaky body through acceleration drills on the track yesterday for fun and games. I am quite sore, feeling my right knee for the first time but happy that I am progressing. These are the times when I know that I can run my first marathon. It’s my goal and I expect to nail this one at last.

My actor-director friend sent me a text to let me know what is troubling him. He’s such a wonderful gift to this jaded world that it’s always sad for me to know that he has any troubles at all. His despair weighs heavily in my meditations but I know that it’s part of all the things that makes him such a wonder. I hope he makes contact with me soon as I have some insight into the despair of this world.

My other genius professor friend wrote some of the best curriculum that I have read in a long time. The sheer power of his intelligence is so great that it is quite frightening for me, a fledgling. He has some tweaking to do with his courses but he’s clearly beyond gifted and quite out of my league in all things that he does. The greatest gift that he gives me (he clearly doesn’t want to give me anything) is that he forces me to be better at my crafts but reminds me of how beneath him I exist.

I have some service at my cathedral this afternoon, spiritual growth for me as I strive for my perfection in learning ministry. I seek to serve those at the end of their lives; to know and to be fully present. This is the perfection that I seek with the help of my mentors in theology. I wonder why I seek this?

 

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