Getting Warmer

I had a busy morning into the afternoon on this damp, grey weekday. I knew that I had a couple of administrative meetings but spent the morning getting my gym work and running done followed by a dip in the pool and a sauna. I am perpetually cold this time of year, finding the sauna wonderful relief from the cold. Though I heat up well on my runs, I still find the sauna heat quite comfortable after my brief cool down. I also added a new electrolyte drink to my routine as a means of fighting the muscle cramps that often follow my faster runs.

After my meetings, back home, blissfully dressed in my pink thermal underwear to spend the rest of the day with my reading work. I was a bit concerned about one of my friends but he’s great at pushing me away and I honor that he needs and wants to do this. I hope he understands that I will always take him as I find him and that’s magic.

I understand where he is but love every second that I spend in his wonderful brilliant presence. All is well in my head as far as he is concerned. Still, there’s this little part of me that feels plenty of magic when we hang; experiences some great moments of learning and understanding with him. I like the air he breathes and love to hear his laugh; hear his voice. He’s a wonder and a gift.

I received a note from one of my favorite theater companies that included a review of a production that I attended a bit of time ago. When I read my review, I could recall the wonder and energy of that production; warms my grey heart on this damp day made even more damp by my lack of red blood cells, another source of my cold feelings this time of year.

If I take inventory of the actions that I have taken in the past few weeks, I have been far busier that ever. In spite of the frenzy of activity, I have been more isolated. I deliberately seek this isolation but coming with it are my feelings of just being cold. Perhaps I need to take some meditation time and work into acceptance of my isolation and just pull back. I certainly know that my prayers have warmed me these days. I will take my warmth where I find it.

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