Too Close

“Trying to smile
But the air is so heavy and dry

Strange voices are saying
What did they say
Things I can’t understand
It’s too close for comfort .” – Bananarama

The day is warm and gray as the days are getting shorter announcing the arrival of winter. When this winter comes in, I will be far away in heat and humidity; off on an adventure of running and teaching in a foreign country. My guess is what I have to give is my experience, my knowledge and my patience. Yes, my wandering heart will fly again over the holidays; my best experiences.

I can’t understand what I am compelled to learn and perform but I put one foot in front of the other one; exploring and discovering. I will see the sun coming up and going down over the Pacific Ocean, the biggest on this planet. My trips always remind me of how fragile this planet is and how much alike all people are; how small even great distances seem. I will run the pavement thousands of miles away from my present world; a life away yet my running will be the same, my constancy.

No ties, no relationships but many scenes and observations on my part. I have learned to let go of everything and wander. Just early this morning, I kept thinking of a wonderful friend that I want to hold, close my eyes, smell his cologne, look into his blue eyes and only say that “everything is all right” and also to say “I will never let you fall”. Yes, for him, I will always find a way to catch him if need be.

While he’s the strongest person I know on this earth, he’s also the one person that I have been furthest from. He keeps me far way; preservation for me perhaps for him too. Baseline is that I am stronger in this, very much like him and so I strike out on an adventure hoping that one day he will allow me in.

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