“Knowing When to Leave”

DSCN0478“Go while the going is good
Knowing when to leave
May be the smartest thing
That anyone can learn
Go!

I’m afraid my heart isn’t very smart
Fly while you still have your wings
Knowing when to leave will never let you
Reach the point of no return
Fly!”–  By Jill O’Hara via Dionne Warwick

In my past, I always left when my heart could no longer deal with the emotions and feelings of being adrift. The change, now in the present, is that I don’t leave; I stay and meet the challenge of these feelings. I feel them; I experience them and I allow my heart to heal as it will, on its own time. I don’t reach “the point of no return” because my feelings are the product of my experiences. I have loved with a passion that would knock this planet off its axis; this is how I love. The change is that my passion, while still there and still deep, my passion is directed towards my work and being fully present in each moment as it happens.  I don’t have to leave as a means of protecting myself from the “point of no return” as that point doesn’t exist for me.

As with most questions in my present life, I work out the answers on my daily runs and meditations. I allow my thoughts to move where they will travel as I enjoy the hot breeze on my skin, my breathing and my physical push. All parts of me enjoys the questions and seeking the answers. There is a serenity that comes to me about the middle of my route by the lake, that often allows me to say a prayer of gratitude for each step and each affirmation/question. I can’t help what touches me deeply but I can stand with quietness, taking in what is in front of me. I don’t leave as I stop and face the emotions with exploration and acceptance.

My gifts of my lengthy introspective runs and solitude have allowed me to “stay put”. This staying in one place promises to allow me to get to know what is to come in my life. My rejection of heading off when my feelings become too deep and too painful has allowed me to experience some amazing connections, no matter how brief. My empathic nature is a part of me that I will not ignore or question as it simply exists. I am not going anywhere but will stay, keeping my heart open and receive with grace. I am very happy and thankful these days (at last) because I have heard from the best.

I can hardly wait to see what is around the corner for me in this place; fully in the presence of greatness of spirit. I miss him with a huge smile because he’s just that much fun.  There is no “point of no return”, there are simply points of great connection and affirmation. I found my hero and while he sets me a bit adrift, I am here and present.

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