Up on the Roof

It’s hot up here but there is a nice breeze blowing in off the lake. I sit here with sweat dripping down my back because I ran the steps (14 floors) to get to the roof of my hospital to meditate and pray. I have to give thanks to God for all that I have been given in the past two weeks. I am healthy, one year older and so very grateful for the fellowship of my colleagues and friends. In short, I am humbled by the positive affirmations that seem to be filling my life and my work.

Early this morning, I ran 6 miles at my faster pace. Though I felt a bit of discomfort in my right ankle (somewhat new), the pace felt great. I could feel myself speeding up toward the end of my run, something new for me. I also ran a portion of my route on grass which was a nice change from the asphalt and cement. I can feel that I have more room to grow in my distance running; such a gift.

I keep finding myself thinking about my friend whose friendship that I lost more than a month ago. I miss his energy and fellowship but again, I know that he knows what is best for him and his life. I am puzzled by why he is so angry with me as I only ever want the best for him in all things. He is genuine, gifted and amazing which is why the hole that he left in my heart is so huge and so difficult to fill. We shared much in the short time that I knew him; somewhat kindred spirits but we are so very different. I am infinitely forgiving and he definitely does not share this quality with me.

I know that in time, these feelings of sadness will abate for me because I am a genuinely positive person. I put my energy into my adventures and where they will take me. I have more traveling coming up and I have more to discover about myself and where my life will lead. I put my energy into my spirituality which is why I am on the roof, breathing the lake air and hoping that my former friend is happy, healthy and moving forward with his gifts. This is my prayer for him.

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