My parents always drilled into my brain, almost on a daily basis, “To those that much has been given, much is expected.”. To this end, I have always sought to challenge myself academically, intellectually and physically. As I push my physical body, at an age when many are contemplating retirement, to its limits with my marathon training, I face this challenge squarely, “head on and head up” as my father would say. As I lead with my heart and my head, I keep my goals squarely in sight.
My heart has been healing from the loss of my life’s love but my head is stronger than my legs that are carrying me along each mile of my training runs. I allow my legs to carry me past the point of exhaustion which now seems to be more in my head than physical. My recovery is less than 24 hours and I am back out on the road, digesting more pavement and breathing more air that I ever thought possible. My strength is increasing with every step. It’s difficult not to feel almost invincible as I push every physical limit that I have known.
In the past month, I have dropped almost 30 pounds, finally thinning out in my upper body as I had hoped. I am looking for a more chiseled appearance in my lower body but since I am a woman with plenty of estrogen on board, my lower body lags a bit behind my upper body. When rugby season begins, I will need my lower body strength thus I do not intend to lose as much below my waist. Still, I would like a bit more speed but speed comes behind distance for me at present.
My heart has been very gladly in fellowship with a fellow marathoner who has been a complete surprise for me. When I first met him, I knew that I was in the presence of one the the greatest spirits that I would ever know. Still, he is something of a paradox because his gifts are far beyond mine yet at times, he doesn’t appear to see them in himself. I see him so clearly; absorbing his energy that propels me like an infusion of electricity, no question. He questions everything that I see very clearly. In these matters, my empathic abilities have not been wrong. It is he who seeks a definition for that which cannot be defined. I do not desire and do not seek definition in these matters.
The challenge for me is to keep facing my challenges and not to question anything. I am quite aware of the gifts that have been given to me by God. In my gratitude and thankfulness, I stopped questioning and set about sharing all that I can. I “settle” for no circumstance at no point in time in my life. I continue to reach out even if I am rebuffed and refused.
I know that my friend is as generous as any fellow human being can be with everyone except himself. He has become complacent with life as the familiar, a characteristic that is completely foreign in me and something I can’t ever allow for even a second in myself. My profession, my spirit, my soul and my mind will never allow complacency in anything.
To this end, with every mile, I face my challenges; head on, eyes fixed forward; sight clearly focused; heart remembering the past with a bit of humility but I will never blink. This is my strength and it grows with my independence.