“Heart of mine
Oh what’s the use in trying
No one can mend you now”– Boz Scaggs
I am trying to be upbeat on this snowy day before Valentine’s Day weekend. I know that I shouldn’t feel “left out” because I am not in a romantic relationship but I feel true loneliness on this day for some odd reason. I have great friends with whom I share wonderful relationships but I am feeling a little desolate in that I hoped that a new relationship would provide a little heart-warmth at this point. I still look at my friend and my heart skips a beat or two but both of us are so busy with academics and other things.
On my morning meditations and prayers, I am very grateful for all that I have. I am healthy and grateful for the hundreds of great connections with my patients and colleagues but I can’t help feeling that I would just like to have a hand to hold, a person to hug and share adventures; someone to tell my secrets to. There have been wonderful moments here and there but the letdown of being alone is getting to me a bit. So, I will venture out on this snowy day. I won’t give up on my friends.