” So the from the rising of the sun to the place of its setting men may know that there is none besides me. I am the LORD, and there is no other. I form the light and create darkness, I bring prosperity and create disaster; I, the LORD, do all these things. You heavens above, rain down righteousness, let the clouds shower it down. Let the earth open wide, let salvation spring up, let righteousness grow with it; I, the LORD have created it.”– Isaiah 45: 6-8 (NIV)
This Advent has been something magical that was most unexpected for me! As tomorrow is the anniversary of the death of the man that I believed would be with me for the rest of my life, I had anticipated falling back into the depths of darkness that clouded my life for the past year. Instead of falling into the depths of darkness, I see more light than ever. I have much to be grateful and thankful for on this day.
What’s the difference? I now know a robustness of spirit that has spilled over to all aspects of my life. I have hope for the future and a kind of peace with the past. What is this peace? It is the realization that all has been created and written for me. It is the realization that serenity and grace can be mine if I choose to seek these things; and I do. My heart is glad, healing and forgiving. That my love chose to take his life was his choice. That I choose to live in the spirit of all things hopeful, joyful and positive is my choice.
I am seeing this Advent through the eyes of the children of my cathedral as we have been preparing for the Christmas Pageant. To see their wonder has been infectious for me because the love of children is pure and untouched by darkness. There is joy and light everywhere! This, I chose to keep in my heart and spread this season.
The cathedral is filled with music, greens, candles and points of light in every corner. I chose to see them; embrace them and spread them to the anger, suffering of those who have sought to destroy others and themselves in my trauma bay too. All in all, I choose to carry this spirit with me in my practice and in my life right now.