Keeping Still and Listening

“It is only the infinite mercy and love of God that has prevented us from tearing ourselves to pieces and destroying His entire creation long ago. People seem to think that it is in some way a proof that no merciful God exists, if we have so many wars. On the contrary, consider how in spite of centuries of sin and greed and lust and cruelty and hatred and avarice and oppression and injustice, spawned and bred by the free wills of men, the human race can still recover, each time, and can still produce men and women who overcome evil with good, hatred with love, greed with charity, lust and cruelty with sanctity. How could all this be possible without the merciful love of God, pouring out His grace upon us? “-Merton, Thomas (1998-10-04). The Seven Storey Mountain

I am working so frantically that I find myself in complete depression as a means of coping with this unrelenting pace. As I run in the street, to keep my sanity, I am reminded of the quote above by Thomas Merton. I know that by giving all to God, I will get through this very challenging and difficult time. I pray for the strength to make some very difficult decisions that must be made because they are the right decisions.

I know that I can’t compromise my values, my faith and my honesty. I know as the sun will set, that once my honor goes, nothing else will remain. I also remember the wisdom of my late father who said that I should always be able to look at myself in the mirror and be proud of the honor of the person that I see. “You may not love the way you look but you can be proud of your actions if know that they are right.”, he would always say.  I believe that it is only through the mercy of God that I can keep standing alone and I will stand alone as long as I know my actions are correct. I am just deeply hurt that no one will stand with me.


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