Here I am again, on the roof of my hospital 14 stories up looking at the sunrise and breathing the cold morning air. My meditation this morning centered around how I am compelled to push myself to limits mentally and physically these days. I have questioned whether this is my means of surviving the loss of my husband, my love, my life or whether this is how I begin to put one foot in front of the other one to keep moving forward. My joy is in being infinitely grateful to God for having the drive and ability to do this job; to reach into the “chitlins” and make sense of that which has been inflicted by others upon the innocent. Yes, I give everything that I have mentally and physically because their life is in my hands and I don’t know any other way to do this.